Share your gifts

This farm…the knits…the fibers…the flowers…it’s so much a part of me because I pour my whole self into it. But I know that it is not all of me.

Yet every email I send…every social media post…this very blog…and for sure when I’ve got something to offer, the fear kicks in.

I know the farm, its produce, its price point, is not for every body.

But that doesn’t stop me from second guessing.

I suppose that’s because I’ve spent years trying to make everyone like me.

And while I know fear is not an excuse to hide myself, to hold back, to be ashamed of my gifts—it’s still something that creeps in from time to time…if not daily.

One day as I was standing with the herd, mentally coaching myself before posting a picture, over analyzing the caption…

I decided to just write from the heart and let it fly.

alpacas-with-hay

A selfie of me playing ‘human hay feeder’ as the herd munched and tugged the crunchy bits right from my arms. I shared that it was my favorite daily practice — to just be still and watch them eat.

And the responses were many — but all very similar.

Intrigue - excitement - a slight undercurrent of envy.

Could this be something people want, the businesswoman inside me pondered.

The fear of being seen as someone who monetizes everything is real and ever present. But then again, so are the feed costs and vet bills. It’s a constant dance.

So I went ahead and put it out there.

Peace with Pacas is what I dubbed it — a private opportunity to come out and feed the herd — become the human hay feeder. Find and experience the calm that I am lucky to have at all hours.

Like many things I’ve tried in life…and in business…I felt uncertain, self-conscious, fearful about putting it out there.

It felt like planning a party and expecting no one would come…and all the self judgment that would ensue.

So I only offered a few slots, mostly because I thought that would soften the blow when it totally flopped…

But wouldn’t you know it, they sold out in a hurry.

And then one by one, folks came out to experience this weirdly wonderful thing — the everydayness of the farm.

I saw it with fresh eyes as I watched it became a balm, a soothing salve, a dose of cheer and a moment of calm to others.

Every conversation I had with the peace seekers was a renewed connection to the greater community.

Some of the folks that came I had only known as an avatar on social media, putting faces and voices to screen names and making friends…it felt normal in a way that real life hasn’t these last 2 years.

alpaca-huddle

Everyone’s experience was as individual as they were. It was my take on Choose Your Own Adventure.

Sit in the cozy barn or stand out in the fresh air…

feeding-alpaca

And I have to admit, this was the first time I had ever done a farm event where I didn’t spend hours and weeks in an attempt to make visible inch of the farm just right.

alpaca-feeding

I adopted the idea that the peace seekers weren’t here to judge the cleanliness of the barn or my boots. They were here for a real authentic experience.

alpacas-by-a-barn

And frankly, just about all of them said they didn’t quite know what to expect.

Oh — and that alone could’ve been the best lesson of it all — the freedom there is when you go into the world with no expectations!

feeding-alpacas

How things rolled out could not have been more perfect than if I had actually planned it.

Some showed up in tears, exhausted with all of life’s worries and uncertainties…and they left rejuvenated and filled with joy.

alpaca-pets

Some even got the very unexpected cuddle from Scout, our resident Public Relations ‘Paca.

This farm constantly reminds me that there is real power in being receptive…

In stepping outside your comfort zone and seeing where things go without pushing it in any direction.

hand-feeding-alpacas

When I reflect on this experience, the most precious lesson I took away was how important it is to share our gifts.

No matter how odd…strange…uncommon…average…off-beat…they are.

friendly-alpacas

In the words of Marie Forelo…

The world really needs that very special gift that only you can give.

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